In The Name Of Neutrality.

 

                              

With this rapidly growing hate that (I feel) has been more fully unleashed and with everyone and everything in such a chaos, it's caused me to fall into a shallow pit of... despair, if you will.

It's caused me to feel like I need to hide. Hide myself physically, hide my religion, hide my moral standards, my opinions; whether political or religious, even hide things I'm passionate about. I figure neutrality while simultaneously feeling a sense of helplessness is probably an increasingly better option than taking in criticism or offending friends and family. If there is one thing I constantly struggle with, and have for a long time, it is worrying about how others perceive me. I really do not enjoy being called weird and I fly most comfortably under the radar. I will let people know where I stand when asked or when an issue arises and I feel too strongly to remain silent. But I usually convey it in my own non-confrontational sort of way... which means, I'm usually surrounded by like-minded people who have the same views and in which there's no threat of an argument. 

As of late, that helplessness I mentioned above is growing more and more irritated by watching specific topics I hold dear, receive negativity. Although this world has set it up to be crippling when your personal beliefs are stated, every thing inside screams at me to defend. So a few days ago, after reading and re-reading multiple General Conference talks I came across one that quoted a scripture in Romans 1:16, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God..."

Funny when you're looking for a solution to a troubled mind how clear the answer comes if looking with the right spirit and in the right place. I knew instantly after reading it, that my neutrality was, in a sense, a way of being "ashamed of the gospel of Christ". Being ashamed of Christ Himself. Well, if that wasn't a slap in the face, I don't know what is. 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in April of 2014 said the following:

"It is a characteristic of our age that if people want any gods at all, they want them to be gods who do not demand much, comfortable gods, smooth gods who not only don’t rock the boat but don’t even row it, gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds". 

Remaining silent on issues which would normally require me to vocally defend my beliefs, I have found that while remaining so, I am catering to those individuals of the world who believe in the above statement. I'm not rocking the boat, nor am I even rowing it for that matter. 

But why not? I want every person to know that I believe there is a God, I want every person to know that God has commandments and expectations, I want them to know that He is an unchangeable God even in a fast changing society. Malissa, there's no more hiding.

With the recent heat that my own religion has taken, other religions, attacks on the essential family unit, the home in itself, the correct patriarchal order, our unalienable rights, and so on, we must "defend [our] beliefs with courtesy and compassion, but defend them".

Now, I may have felt a sense of despair in watching how powerful Lucifer has gotten and how he continues to do so, but when one despairs, one does not have hope. This week, I have gained that hope. I have strengthened my testimony on what my duty is in these latter days. I feel empowered instead of helpless. We know who wins in the end! "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth good will to men".

We cannot sit in silence and watch others do the work of defending, only because we do not want to offend. There is absolutely no time to be ashamed of the gospel Jesus of Christ. 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/the-cost-and-blessings-of-discipleship?lang=eng