His Atoning Sacrifice.

   For the last few months I have really struggled to watch as specific siblings have made questionable life choices. I've learned a few valuable lessons in these short months, and I'm eternally grateful for the new perspective I have received from the Spirit. 

   I think coming to a realization that the feelings I'm experiencing are not even a teaspoon of what a Mother or Father would feel for a child, is the most obvious, yet overwhelming. 

Anguish

Denial

Self-doubt

Bitterness 

   What amazes me is how many times I've had to turn these feelings over to the Lord in this short time period, because I'm not capable of carrying the load. I cannot hardly even fathom how many times in the last 22 years of her parenting, my own Mother has had no other choice but to turn things over to the Lord. It's a true testimony to me that raising a family is yet another triangle analogy. God being placed at the top and Father and Mother, side by side, placed at the bottom How can a parent even survive without that heavenly communication or help? 

   I feel like I share things that are just a "Duh" to everyone else, but I have been able to receive further light and knowledge on what the Atonement is, which for me has always been a hard principle of the Gospel to grasp. I've been able to gain a more personalized perspective on the Atonement. 

   Right now, it is taking everything in me not to confront my sibling on his current situation. Slap him. Kick him. Lecture, shame, yell, cry, etc. (I'm a little bitter, can you tell?) I just want to save him from the incorrect path that he's going down, save him from all the pain and heartache that it leads to, save him from wasted precious time, even money. I've been down that incorrect path and have experienced the pain and heartache for myself, AND I JUST WANT TO SAVE HIM. 

WOW. 

   Imagine how our Savior feels, or did feel, on my account, regarding years ago when I took the same incorrect path. My Savior already saved me... He already went through all that pain and suffering and yet I made Him go through it all over again. 

   That kind of stung me to actually type that out.. I made him go through it all over again. 

   This humbling little lesson the Spirit taught me the past week, is life changing to me in my personal life. My Savior loved me when I least deserved it and when I least wanted it, that's all He could do, and that's all he did do. Was it effective? Absolutely. So as hard as it is and it's going to be, that's all I can do for my sibling. Love him while he is least deserving it and loving him while he least wants it. 

   Families play a vital role in this life and the life to come, I look forward to the day when we as individuals can perfectly center our lives around Jesus Christ, and then together as families. What a powerful surge that will be!