In The Name Of Neutrality.

 

                              

With this rapidly growing hate that (I feel) has been more fully unleashed and with everyone and everything in such a chaos, it's caused me to fall into a shallow pit of... despair, if you will.

It's caused me to feel like I need to hide. Hide myself physically, hide my religion, hide my moral standards, my opinions; whether political or religious, even hide things I'm passionate about. I figure neutrality while simultaneously feeling a sense of helplessness is probably an increasingly better option than taking in criticism or offending friends and family. If there is one thing I constantly struggle with, and have for a long time, it is worrying about how others perceive me. I really do not enjoy being called weird and I fly most comfortably under the radar. I will let people know where I stand when asked or when an issue arises and I feel too strongly to remain silent. But I usually convey it in my own non-confrontational sort of way... which means, I'm usually surrounded by like-minded people who have the same views and in which there's no threat of an argument. 

As of late, that helplessness I mentioned above is growing more and more irritated by watching specific topics I hold dear, receive negativity. Although this world has set it up to be crippling when your personal beliefs are stated, every thing inside screams at me to defend. So a few days ago, after reading and re-reading multiple General Conference talks I came across one that quoted a scripture in Romans 1:16, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God..."

Funny when you're looking for a solution to a troubled mind how clear the answer comes if looking with the right spirit and in the right place. I knew instantly after reading it, that my neutrality was, in a sense, a way of being "ashamed of the gospel of Christ". Being ashamed of Christ Himself. Well, if that wasn't a slap in the face, I don't know what is. 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in April of 2014 said the following:

"It is a characteristic of our age that if people want any gods at all, they want them to be gods who do not demand much, comfortable gods, smooth gods who not only don’t rock the boat but don’t even row it, gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds". 

Remaining silent on issues which would normally require me to vocally defend my beliefs, I have found that while remaining so, I am catering to those individuals of the world who believe in the above statement. I'm not rocking the boat, nor am I even rowing it for that matter. 

But why not? I want every person to know that I believe there is a God, I want every person to know that God has commandments and expectations, I want them to know that He is an unchangeable God even in a fast changing society. Malissa, there's no more hiding.

With the recent heat that my own religion has taken, other religions, attacks on the essential family unit, the home in itself, the correct patriarchal order, our unalienable rights, and so on, we must "defend [our] beliefs with courtesy and compassion, but defend them".

Now, I may have felt a sense of despair in watching how powerful Lucifer has gotten and how he continues to do so, but when one despairs, one does not have hope. This week, I have gained that hope. I have strengthened my testimony on what my duty is in these latter days. I feel empowered instead of helpless. We know who wins in the end! "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth good will to men".

We cannot sit in silence and watch others do the work of defending, only because we do not want to offend. There is absolutely no time to be ashamed of the gospel Jesus of Christ. 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/the-cost-and-blessings-of-discipleship?lang=eng

Missing the boat...

    I read a random blog post today that was floating around Facebook and it got my blood boiling. It was written from a former Lds members viewpoint on... 

Modesty. 


   Within the last couple of years, I feel like the topic of modesty in general has been completely twisted. I see posts all over social media about how "men just need to learn to control their thoughts" or "I'm going to be modest for me, not for boys" or even, "I dress for myself, I do not dress to impress others". The sad part? 99% of these posts are made from Lds members, whom I blindly assumed understood the principle of modesty. 

   So maybe I'm completely missing the boat here, or maybe the rest of the world is completely missing the boat. Either way, we're all definitely not on the same boat. When did the intent of modesty change? When did modesty change to something we blame the men on? When did being modest become degrading?

   Let me just dive right in and start by quoting this:

"Modesty is fundamental to being worthy of the spirit"                  (Elder Robert D. Hales)

    This statement is quite powerful to me. I 100% believe that it applies to both men and women. 

    When choosing to dress modestly your allegiance is not to others, your allegiance is to your Heavenly Father and the baptismal covenants that you made.

(Taking upon the name of Christ, standing as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places, serving God and keeping His commandments, etc.)

    When you truly understand that our bodies house our spirits and have the capacity to "bring souls from the presence of God to their mortal state", what more of a reason do you need to dress modestly without it being shameful?

    I think it's interesting that in the Garden of Eden the Lord taught Adam and Eve the importance of dressing appropriately. It was just the 2 of them! Do you think Eve felt the need to cover up so Adam would be able to keep his thoughts clean? Uh. No. I believe Eve fully understood that she was created in the image of God and that her body was something sacred and to treat it as such. 


                         



    There is NO SHAME in being modest. If you think so, you're doing it wrong. We dress for ourselves... in order to be worthy for the Spirit, but I also believe we DO dress modestly so that all those around us can be worthy of the Spirit as well.

  It's not fair of us to wear things that are inappropriate, regardless of gender, and make it that much harder for any thoughts to be controlled, and that much harder for the Spirit to strive within us or within a room. 

    I'm tired of living in such a feminist world where a beautiful thing like modesty is made into something shameful and degrading. Dress for God, not your own entitlement. Dress for worthiness of the Spirit in you and others. Dress in a way that reflects "who [you] are and what [you] want to be, both here in mortality and in the eternities that will follow".

    I know modesty goes beyond just dressing appropriately, and I probably could rant even longer. But there's my perspective and a few of my thoughts that I had pertaining to that statement Elder Hales said above. Nothing grand or fancy, I was just discouraged (and a little angry) after reading that floating blog post today. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in a completely different boat with a completely different outlook than half of my friends and acquaintances. I don't know... I may be crazy, but at least I'm consistent!


https://www.lds.org/liahona/2008/08/modesty-reverence-for-the-lord?lang=eng

 

His Atoning Sacrifice.

   For the last few months I have really struggled to watch as specific siblings have made questionable life choices. I've learned a few valuable lessons in these short months, and I'm eternally grateful for the new perspective I have received from the Spirit. 

   I think coming to a realization that the feelings I'm experiencing are not even a teaspoon of what a Mother or Father would feel for a child, is the most obvious, yet overwhelming. 

Anguish

Denial

Self-doubt

Bitterness 

   What amazes me is how many times I've had to turn these feelings over to the Lord in this short time period, because I'm not capable of carrying the load. I cannot hardly even fathom how many times in the last 22 years of her parenting, my own Mother has had no other choice but to turn things over to the Lord. It's a true testimony to me that raising a family is yet another triangle analogy. God being placed at the top and Father and Mother, side by side, placed at the bottom How can a parent even survive without that heavenly communication or help? 

   I feel like I share things that are just a "Duh" to everyone else, but I have been able to receive further light and knowledge on what the Atonement is, which for me has always been a hard principle of the Gospel to grasp. I've been able to gain a more personalized perspective on the Atonement. 

   Right now, it is taking everything in me not to confront my sibling on his current situation. Slap him. Kick him. Lecture, shame, yell, cry, etc. (I'm a little bitter, can you tell?) I just want to save him from the incorrect path that he's going down, save him from all the pain and heartache that it leads to, save him from wasted precious time, even money. I've been down that incorrect path and have experienced the pain and heartache for myself, AND I JUST WANT TO SAVE HIM. 

WOW. 

   Imagine how our Savior feels, or did feel, on my account, regarding years ago when I took the same incorrect path. My Savior already saved me... He already went through all that pain and suffering and yet I made Him go through it all over again. 

   That kind of stung me to actually type that out.. I made him go through it all over again. 

   This humbling little lesson the Spirit taught me the past week, is life changing to me in my personal life. My Savior loved me when I least deserved it and when I least wanted it, that's all He could do, and that's all he did do. Was it effective? Absolutely. So as hard as it is and it's going to be, that's all I can do for my sibling. Love him while he is least deserving it and loving him while he least wants it. 

   Families play a vital role in this life and the life to come, I look forward to the day when we as individuals can perfectly center our lives around Jesus Christ, and then together as families. What a powerful surge that will be!